MY VIRGINITY OR YOURS
AUTHOR/WRITER: TERIBA NIMOTA I.
“Keep it! Keep yourself for your husband, that’s going to be the respect he’s going to give to you, that’s going to be the trust he would have in you, that’s going to be what you’ll lay down for your kids” that was all my mother said to me. She didn’t mention to me that there are lots of temptation in the world and I’ve to be strong to keep my body. It’s funny how they can tell us to do the right things but they forgot to mention that there’s always a price to pay.
I was laying on my bed when Omolara walked in crying,
“Moshope, I just lost my virginity”, she said still crying like a little baby.
“Calm down Lara, I don’t get why you’re crying. Some people gets really happy when their cherry has been popped, they even talk about it like it’s an achievement. Or didn’t you lose it the right way”?
“What is the right way to lose your virginity if you don’t lose it to your husband”? Titilope said as she walked in. If it’s not your husband, then its no right way so don’t say things to console her. “When a child is wrong, you correct her not pamper her, she said sternly.
Haba Titi, take it easy, you’ve not even heard her own side of the story and you’re here already acting like you’re Mrs perfect. Your being judgemental issue is going to another level. Keep calm o, life is too short to be forming I too know, I said to her.
“Abegi, don’t tell me what is not. What other way do people lose their virginity if it’s not from you moving from pillar to pillar like a…….
That was all she managed to say, when Adebimpe walked in and shut her up by saying;
“girl take several seats and stop talking like your virginity is pure, end time virgin osi. You think you can just open your mouth and criticize anyone because you’re what? Who died and made you the queen of Supreme Court? I don’t have time for you yet, let me do what I came here for, you judgmental fool Adebimpe said, making Titi go quiet.
First of all Omolara, how did it happen? I asked.
“I’m ashamed of myself, I can’t even talk, I don’t want you guys to insult me.
C’mon babe, we are your friends, this doesn’t make us better than you, just tell us what went wrong, I asked.
Okay I went out with Soji and we got talking and got into an emotional moment, and we got kissing and one thing led to another, it happened. I wouldn’t say I was ready and I wouldn’t say he forced me but then, I just felt it wasn’t the right time. Would my husband love me after this? Would I even get someone to marry me not to talk of him loving me? Would he even respect or trust me? I’m such a disgrace, she said as she kept on weeping profusely. “Nonsense Lara, nonsense. Is a guy supposed to respect you all because you’re a virgin? Is that the clause for a guy respecting a girl? Every man is supposed to respect a woman without nothing being involved. A man doesn’t have to be your husband or fiancé before he respects you so please stop saying that”, Adebimpe said.
Hmm I think I need to be heard, we all grow up doing things we said we wouldn’t do but then that isn’t the end of the world. A man that would love you should do so whether you’re a virgin or not. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying being a virgin is bad, in fact it’s the best gift a woman can give her husband on the night of their wedding, and it’s the best way a woman can show that she got good home training. But are we all happy we lost ours, this world is not what it used to be, and as such we can’t get it all right. Do you think everyone is happy about theirs, don’t you know everyone has a story to tell? Did you think every girl lost it because they wanted to? What would happen to those who are victims of sexual crimes? Should they kill themselves because they took their virginity away? All these things are little mistakes we make during our youth years, it’s a good thing some try to rectify theirs while some say to themselves that the deed has been done, let’s keep doing it till we meet the right man.
Losing your virginity doesn’t change your being, it doesn’t change you from the loving person that you are, and losing your virginity doesn’t mean you will be a bad wife so as having a happy home. I’m not saying keeping your virginity is wrong, but in this world, we’re all different and everyone has the right to choose the path in which they belong. Some lose theirs by mistake, some lose theirs and they hate themselves for it but should they keep hating themselves forever?
All I’m saying is love shouldn’t be based on this, respect shouldn’t be based on this, trust shouldn’t be based on this, and you should love your woman even with her flaws. It is true virginity is sacred, its way more than you all think. You think virginity is all about penetration? Hmm well it all depends on your own definition but no matter what it is, you have no right to judge anyone and you aren’t God. Keep yourself if you can, it’s a good thing and it’s a good feeling. Keep yourself because it is right keep yourself because it is ordained by God but if you can’t, do not hate yourself, God is the most forgiving he would forgive you and that doesn’t make you less of a person. You saying your husband won’t love and respect you is wrong, he’s not supposed to love you base on that, he should love you for you. Don’t hate yourself for this, it’s a good thing you feel remorseful, virginity isn’t the end of the world, I said.
Haaaa Moshope, you didn’t tell me you’re now a preacher o, ha you were just talking. I know virginity is good o but me I can’t enjoy one man’s pennis forever. You know I’ve to have experience, you know guys don’t really like novice but God knows best sha, Adebimpe said.
It’s true God knows best, because we’re blinded by worldly things doesn’t mean we shouldn’t know the right from wrong. We have the choice to choose our path, that’s your path you’ve chosen and that doesn’t change the person you are or the person you’re going to be. Just love yourself. Virginity or no virginity, that’s not the end of the world. Calm down Omolara, that alone can’t stop your shine, you’ll shine if God says so, I said to her.
As for you Titi Mrs virgin Mary, you think you know it all abi, you think I didn’t see you when Dayo was kissing and smooching the life out of your breast ha I pity you o, end time virgin judging people all about when your own skeleton is in your cupboard, Adebimpe said.
Ha seybi it was just kissing, we sha didn’t do the main thing, Titi said.
Oh oh but you have mouth to judge, you think virginity is all about that? I think you should read more.
Girls I think you should limit the things you tell your friends some things are best kept between you and God because no one has the right to judge you aside your God, they come here saying nonsense and they do worse than you know. Don’t hate yourself over that Lara, we love you and you’re still the best at least you’re better than those who give head at the backyard and come here to form saint. Don’t worry, your man would love you for you.
“What is wrong with these our parents sef using rubbish to fill our heads, as if I’ve got no blood running in my veins (hisses) they’ll tell me if they didn’t do it when they were young and I’m sure they know it’s not easy, Adebimpe said. C’mon Ade, they are just putting us on the right path and they have every right to do so, I said. But then, it should be known that virginity shouldn’t be a basis for a woman to be respected, all women deserve to be respected regardless.