HOLDING GRUDGES AND THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS
Holding grudges will consume emotional energy… if we let it. I think some young women and some men also have learned how to take things very personally. This results to holding grudges. The behavior is learned and probably they were taught this behavior by their parents.
Holding grudges uses lots of emotional energy. And, when your emotional energy is tied up in a grudge, it holds you in the past. Grudges hold energy hostage and it’s not until you forgive that your energy can be restored. Clearly it depends on the slight. If someone did something to me that was truly bad, I will likely write that person off for good. But i typically forgive and move on after a certain amount of time.
Think of forgiveness as something you do for yourself. Think of it as something that makes you stronger, not weaker. I know many people who regreat holding grudges later in life when they lost on a friendship or relationship with someone. I also believe that the person holding grudges is trying to protect themselves from being hurt again. Maybe the person has a hard time moving on the emotional pain and letting go. I think the best you can do when a person does this is to ask them in a kind and sympathetic way. I think most people learn that holding grudges does not work for them and they change.
Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.
Most of us need time to work through pain and loss. We can find all manner of reasons for postponing forgiveness. One of these reasons is waiting for the wrongdoers to repent before we forgive them. Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours. The folly of rehashing long-past hurts does not bring happiness. Some hold grudges for a lifetime, unaware that courageously forgiving those who have wronged us is wholesome and therapeutic.
All of us suffer some injuries from experiences that seem to have no rhyme or reason. We cannot understand or explain them. We may never know why some things happen in this life. The reason for some of our suffering is known only to the Lord. But because it happens, it must be endured. President Howard W. Hunter said that “God knows what we do not know and sees what we do not see.”If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being
When tragedy strikes, we should not respond by seeking personal revenge but rather let justice take its course and then let go. It is not easy to let go and empty our hearts of festering resentment but let us remember that we need to forgive to be forgiven…
Remember its gets better
SOURCE : Tolulope Ogunmekan