THE LIFE I DIDN’T WISH FOR (EPISODE 10 CONCLUDING PART)
EPISODE TEN (CONCLUDING PART)
AUTHOR/WRITER: TERIBA NIMOTA I
Sholape be patient, your mother is dead! I smiled at the statement, I looked back at Aunty Adunni shaking my head. At this moment, I was swollen with tears, filled with anger. I managed to smile when I said “Aunty Adunni won’t tell me that”. My mum can’t die! She just took her to the hospital right?? Answer me, give me an answer I kept saying.
At this moment I couldn’t control my tears, I was crying and smiling at the same time. Aunty Adunni won’t give me an answer. She kept on making hand movement as if to say I don’t know oooo while she kept on weeping like a baby. This is unbelievable, my mum can’t die I said loudly. They all kept saying “be calm please, we are all here for you” I hissed at their statement while I kept laughing like a mental patient. Laughing like they were all joking. “My Mother can’t leave I and my brother”, I started talking all sort of nonsense.
“But she told me to be strong, she said she was going to be strong for us, she said everything will be alright, she said she will never leave us, she said she loves us, why then will she leave?? All they could say was “she tried, she fought so hard to survive for you both”. I couldn’t hold my tears, I was crying and laughing at the same time.
At this moment, the house was filled with people crying and yelling “what a pity” “she didn’t deserve to die” ha! “How will Sholape live”? Was all I could hear. I listened to all these statement while I replayed them in my head. This was when I realized my mum was really gone. Haaaaaaa! I screamed.
Where’s my Mother? I asked.
It’s a lie, she didn’t leave me.
No, she said no one will reap the fruit of her labour, you’re all liars.
My Mother can’t leave me alone with Sukanmi. Rara oo who will look after us? While performing my little share of madness people kept crying and wailing. Some people tried holding me, Just then, my father decided to join in the share of people holding me.
While I turned to him and yelled “WHAT?? Don’t you dare touch me, you heartless being! She’s dead and you’re here to do what?? Take care of her corpse or her children? Oh now you want to play a father role? We don’t need you. I’ll perform all rites on myself” I said all that to him not minding what I said, not caring if he’s my father or not. He left without hesitation like he was being chased. He left with shame written all over his face. I screamed out loud again God why! Why me!
Take me to my mother, I said.
I want to see her corpse, I yelled.. Everybody wanted to calm me down. Just when I was about to curse, curse myself for not being there for her, I felt a touch on my waist. I turned around, it was my brother, it was Sukanmi.I immediately knelt down in front of him cleaning my tears like I was afraid of him saying;
I’ll take care of you.
I’ll be there for you, I love you, and Mummy loves us.
He just stood there looking at me dumbfounded. I didn’t realize I was crying until he pointed to my face saying “you’re crying again”. I immediately said no but I couldn’t help it. I asked Sukanmi, “do you know what has happened here? He said “yes” reluctantly, “Mummy is dead” he said. Tears! hot tears rushed down my cheeks. He immediately cleaned them saying “don’t worry, I’m here for you Aunty Sholape”. I managed to smile, amaze at my brother’s words. I never knew he was a man in a young body. I gave him a tight hug as if to be sure of his existence. Everyone looked at us in awe. I didn’t know what to do or say I just kept on saying Mother! Mother!
My AUNTY Adunni came forth, she pressed a kiss on my forehead while she rocked me back and forth. She said to me “everything is going to be okay”. She told me she’ll play the role of a mother to I and my brother. Her words didn’t make any Impact on me as I was there looking lost with my puffy eyes. I was lost in my world.
Sholape, your phone, someone said from the other end.
He said his name is Kayode.
I smiled, I didn’t realize I’ve not told kayode about what has happened. I would have done that, but everything happened so fast. We were still planning on going to see her at the hospital over the weekend not knowing we were going to be served with this miserable news. I grabbed my phone from my uncle who brought it to me. I placed the phone on my ear waiting on the next voice to hear. There was tension between Kayode and me. I didn’t want to be the first to speak. Like he was reading my mind. He cleared his throat and said: “Hey babe”! His voice sent some feeling to my body. I don’t know if I was to be sad or happy that he’s here for me.
Are you there? He asked.
I wanted to say yes but my voice was too weak to be loud. I managed to say “yes” almost In a whisper. Thank God he heard me, He kept quiet too. I guess he doesn’t know what to say. I’m sure he knows what’s up already. He probably doesn’t know how to comfort me over the phone. The next I heard was “give me the direction to your house, I’ll be there in 30 minutes. I’ll be coming with my mum” he said.
I can’t talk you know and I don’t have airtime to text it to you I said.
I’ll make a transfer to you he said.
I said okay! While I hung up on him. I smiled knowing fully well that everything might seem wrong right now but having him makes me feel right somehow. People would say I’m too young to fall in love but who am I to question nature. I heard a beep on my phone then I realize it was the transfer notification. I immediately sent the direction to him. I dropped my phone on my lap. Hugging myself so hard saying everything is going to be okay.
Sholape, won’t you eat your food? Aunty Adunni asked.
No I’m not hungry, I said.
Don’t worry ma, she’ll eat her food, a familiar voice cut hers from behind, It was Kayode.
I moved my head to the side not wanting him to see my face. My ugly looking face. He grabbed the food from my aunt and came in front of me. He looked weak too like he has been defeated. He looked at me with so much pity and fear at the same time. “Mummy is here” he said.
I was about standing up so I could go greet her when I heard her footsteps.
Oh my! She pulled me into a tight hug while tears slipped down her face. She kept on rocking me back and forth while she said God is in control. We are all here for you, she said as she pulled out of the hug lifting my face up to meet hers. I smiled in return. I’ll leave you two to talk she said.
She left still looking back at me. Her absence immediately sent tears down my eyes to my cheek. I don’t know why. I started to shout again saying why?? Why? Forgetting Kayode’s existence. He immediately moved closer and pulled me into a hug. He wasn’t crying but he looked sober enough. He kept on patting my back saying “God is with us, we are all here for you. Stop crying baby”. “look at me” he said. I pulled out of the hug trying to face him but my eyes were soaked with tears. I can’t believe he’s seeing me this way. He cleaned my tears. While I asked him why me?? He smiled and put his finger on his lips as if to tell me to be quiet. He put his hands on my shoulder cleaning my tears often baby I know you, you’re strong, I believe you can pull through this storm. I believe in you. You’re a born survivor. Everything is going to be okay, he said.
His words were soothing and relieving. I felt a little bit of comfort. I’m happy we are going through this together. I’m happy he’s here for me. I’m happy I’ve him. I pulled him in for a hug having my silent cry while I rest on him. The moment was over and he said “you have to eat now, I’m going to feed you” he said. We both settled on the bed. He was about digging the spoon into the food when we heard a knock on the door. It was my dad, seeing him got me angry. But what can I do to him?? He probably could read my thoughts when he said “Sholape, we have to bury your mother today”.
I looked up at him and I sighed heavily not minding his statement. I pushed the food in front of me away. I stood up from my bed where I’ve been sitting before he came in. My eyes were wet waiting for tears to find its way down to my cheeks. I shooked my head at him while I walked passed him, forgetting Kayode was in the room with me. I went outside the room just to have a private time to myself.
After a while, my aunty brought a black dress to me, that I should change into that. I looked up at her and gave her a weak smile. She knew it wasn’t a real smile, so she just fixed her gaze on me. I looked at the dress with me as if I was inspecting it. Then I asked her “who got the dress, it’s pretty” I said sarcastically. “Your dad did”, she replied.
I knew it. I knew he was the one.
By this time, tears were flowing heavily from my eyes. If people could fetch it, it would definitely fill a bucket. This man never buys me anything. He never thinks of what I could wear. Now my mum is dead, he’s getting me a dress. Ha aye ma buru o! (it’s a wicked world) Aunt couldn’t say anything, She just kept on looking at me while she cried along with me. I stood up to face her making it seem like I was going to fight her while I moved her shoulders, “you know right”? I asked.
You know my father never takes care of us, you know he has not gotten me a dress before, you know he doesn’t love and care for us, She just kept on moving her head as if her reply would hurt me. All she was saying was “Don’t cry please” I kept on asking her questions, but she was dumbfounded she was just saying “pele ma ke mo”(cry no more).
I immediately dried my tears as if to say I obeyed her. Tell that man that I won’t wear his stupid dress I said. I know he’s happy about my mother’s death but I won’t wear his dress because I’m going to bury my mother myself, Without his help. I can do it alone. I’ve always been doing it without him.
My aunty cried so loud at my statement while she kept on saying please don’t cry, your mother won’t like to see you like this.